Wednesday, December 12, 2007 - 9:48 PM
rj has definitely been an awesome experience for me. My class has been simply awesome and they’re always funny and we had such a lot of fun together, despite the divisions amongst ourselves. Whatever it was, at the end of the day we were still 07s07a – the class who very nearly made it to chem dept’s most improved class for prelims, the class that totally sucks at math and chem, but still got along rather well. I’m really glad for my class. A better bunch of misfits i can’t even imagine. (: And then there were the councillors. All the things we went through – match support, and orientation, and council camp, and take.5 and everything – was that much less horrible and that much more awesome because of all the people. All the times we spent cheering our lungs out, crashing on the super dirty couches in council room, mugging outside council canteen for prelims and As, writing in our 5 jives and everything. There’re so many memories I have of the councillors that it’ll be really ridiculous to even try and put them down in words. But despite all these wonderful, wonderful experiences I’ve had in rj, I can’t help but feel like, I don’t know, that something is missing. Things are just different from the way they were back in rg. Things in rg were so much simpler. I mean, life was not as busy and chaotic and hectic and everything, but there was just something I enjoyed at rg. I think it was the friends I had back in rg. We had our stupid disagreements, and arguments, but at the end of the day we were all friends. Like friends who could talk with each other for hours and hang out together, not doing anything at all. It’s not that I don’t have such friends in rj, I do, but somehow it’s just different. Maybe it’s the people, maybe it’s me, but things have changed so much already and I’m just worried that if I don’t do anything now, I never will. Oh gosh this is becoming a really strange entry. But I really feel like crap now that I am no longer friends with the people I used to be so close to. I mean, these were the people I’d said I’d never get bored of talking to, and would be friends with no matter what – because we’d been through so much together and what didn’t kill us was supposed to make us stronger. I guess it didn’t. we’re not all the friends we used to be, nor the friends we said we’d be, at least for me. Assigning blame would be a silly and stupid and pointless thing to do, but I’d gladly take all the blame if that’s what it takes for me to be able to be friends with the people I used to be friends with, however melodramatic that sounds. I keep telling people who ask that I have no regrets, that regretting stuff is pointless, but I don’t think I’ve been entirely truthful with myself. I do regret one thing. I regret that I wasn’t able to be a better friend to the people I was so close to just about two years ago. I regret not making more of an effort to keep in touch with them, however busy I was. I regret allowing this awkwardness to creep in and almost completely ruin the lovely friendships I had. I am losing the point of this entry. It’s not like any of the people whom I want to read this will ever read it, but. I somehow feel a tiny bit better now that this is all out. People who do read it, well, I don’t know. Draw whatever conclusions you will. I’d like to end this will a really eloquent ending, but I don’t know how. Well then. Goodnight all. -crunch.
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